Exaltado
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: "Paige has discovered that she can make Walter's brain short circuit when she makes suggestive comments in public, and she's taking full advantage," Toby explained.


**So I was supposed to get either a new Here To Stay or The Sound of a Cyclone out…yesterday I think I promised it? But yeah life happens, and even though I spent three hours trying to work at it tonight I'm oddly not in the mood to write either of them (it's not writer's block, I have everything outlined, I just can't get it down I guess) so instead I decided to type this up. It's basically just fleshing out a brief tumblr post I made a year or so ago.**

* * *

The truck was so damn bumpy none of them could even lean back against it.

"Don't worry, team," Cabe said, in the tone of voice he used when he was trying to be encouraging. "We will be to Lautaro's compound in less than fifteen minutes. Then all we have to do is butter him up and convince him to sell us some of that black market drink, and the government swoops in and takes him down."

"Is that all?" Toby said. "You mean he actually doesn't have a pride of lions that wander freely between his gigantic wall and his house? Because I was under the impression that he got the idea from that controversial zoo and imported his own group of _Panthera leo._ "

"Oh, haven't you forgotten our briefing with Cooper?" Sylvester said sarcastically, "they're nice lions, remember? He even sits on them and they carry him around." He narrowed his eyes. "And you are _sending me into that place_."

"You don't hardly have to do anything," Toby said. "Walter is the booze aficionado who is a huge fan of Lautaro's and desperately wants his hands on some of the stuff. You're just his…indentured servant, of sorts."

"Why does the indentured servant have to go into the lion's den?"

"Because if we don't walk in there with the man power to carry the filled jugs out, he might realize that we never plan to actually leave with the stuff," Walter said.

Paige, a glint in her eye, leaned over and said something to Walter in a low voice. Sylvester couldn't make it out, but it was something in regards to Walter's comment about the jugs, ending with lifted eyebrows and " _if_ you know what I mean." She lifted her eyebrows and smirked at him, and when she did, Sylvester realized it was the third or fourth time on their two – hour truck ride that she had made that face. And thinking back farther, she had at least once at the garage that morning.

Sylvester leaned over toward Happy. "Why is Paige being weird?"

"She's discovered that she can make Walt's brain short circuit when she makes suggestive jokes and she's taking full advantage of that," Toby said in a low voice. "Look at the guy now. Look at how he's staring at her like he has no idea what to do."

"The only reason he doesn't know what to do is because we're here," Happy said with a smirk.

"Hey," Toby said, raising his voice. "Do you two need a few minutes alone?"

Walter and Paige, the latter with the remnants of a smug smirk still on her face, turned toward him. "Hmmm," Walter said, furrowing his brow, "what?"

Toby snickered.

* * *

Paige settled back against the couch. It had almost no give to it and had some suspicious looking stains. But these weren't her clothes and anything was an upgrade from the damn truck.

Toby was still in the truck, with Cabe, a mile or so out from Lautaro's compound. They had dropped Walter and Sylvester off nearly a half an hour ago. Happy had carefully, out of view of the cameras, scaled the wall. Paige's job was to monitor. Walter had hacked into the security system at the property and Paige had to make sure Happy never appeared on any monitors, as well as alert Cabe and the Argentinian government if a dangerous situation for any of the three inside were to arise. Ralph and Allie were back at the garage, ready to contact the United States government should they lose contact with the rest of them.

So far, nothing overly dramatic had happened. Granted, watching Walter chuckle and grin while Lautaro emphatically slapped him on the back as they walked among the lions. The largest one appeared to be called Exaltado. Paige wondered what sort of names had been bestowed on the others. In her mind, she named the second largest one, with a pathetic looking mane, Scruffy.

Of course, she was worried about Walter, and Sly and Happy too. But Paige Dineen was an animal lover and had been her entire life, and these lions appeared to be fairly tame.

But one snarl and she was going to alert the crap out of the two governments.

"This one," Lautaro was saying in Spanish gesturing to the large lion, who was sharpening his claws on a tree, "he is, as you might say, the bee's knees, huh?"

"Yes," Walter replied. "That is…" he glanced at Sylvester. "That is exactly what I would say."

"You will ride him back to the house."

"R…r…" Walter stammered, clearly flustered, and Paige smirked. Still not as flustered as she'd been making him all morning.

"Yes. Yes, he will carry you." Lautaro snapped his fingers, taking a few steps toward the lion. "Exaltado!"

"There is no way I'm riding a lion," Walter said in a low voice, just for the coms to hear.

"You will not get out of here alive if you don't, you know," Sylvester said through gritted teeth. "You're here as a huge fan of Lautaro. If you refuse his offer, he will get suspicious."

" _You_ aren't worried?"

"I'm your student. I'm not the huge fan of Lautaro. I'm not riding anything."

"I feel like I could maybe decline his offer without being suspicious," Walter muttered.

"No, Walt," came Cabe's voice. "Just appease the guy, for crying out loud."

"Easy for you to say," Sylvester said. "You're not surrounded by these giant wild animals who are _not_ supposed to be domesticated or around humans."

"He's coming back!" Paige warned. "Careful, Happy, I can see the hood on your jacket on camera six."

"Noted." The tiny strip of material disappeared from camera view.

Lautaro walked back up to Walter and Sylvester, the largest lion ambling along next to him. Paige couldn't make it out too clearly on the screen, but it appeared, at least, that the animal had a chain collar on.

"You are about to ride the king of the jungle," Lautaro told Walter, patting Exaltado's shoulder.

Her boyfriend still looked apprehensive. "Pull this off effectively," Paige said in a low, suggestive tone, "and tonight I'll give the king of the jungle the ride of his life."

" _Mom_."

Paige clapped a hand to her mouth, staring at the wall in horror.

"Uh, Paige?" Came Toby's voice, "I think you may have already realized this, but your child can hear you."

On the largest screen in front of her, Walter was awkwardly resting on Exaltado's back, his fingers wrapped tightly around the mane to help keep his balance.

The scene was comical. But Paige was too appalled to laugh.

* * *

 **THE END.**


End file.
